Do you want to identify your feelings better?
Hint: they’re not all emotions
Start with my feelings grid – incorporating emotions, nervous system responses and physical feelings. Built with neurodivergent brains in mind.
Reconnecting with your feelings is always possible – no matter how cut off from them you are right now.

Do you have a “go to” emotion?

Is there one emotion you feel more than anything else?
- Do you think of yourself as “an anxious person” or “an angry person”?
- Perhaps you default to feeling guilt or shame when something doesn’t go as planned?
- Or maybe you struggle to connect to feelings at all, and mostly feel some version of numb
In reality, you are experiencing a whole range of different feelings
But when you’ve never been taught to distinguish them, the signals can get extremely muddled:
- Overstimulation and social fatigue are often mistaken for anxiety
- A nervous system fight response to feeling unsafe can easily be misinterpreted as anger
- Emotions like guilt, shame or anger are often unconsciously used to cover up other emotions like loneliness or hurt feelings
- Interoception differences can make it hard to register your feelings at all until they become overwhelming
If you’re neurodivergent, like me, you’re more likely to have big emotions, and a sensitive nervous system that can easily be dysregulated. You’ve probably experienced a lot of invalidation of your feelings over your lifetime too. All of which can make it extremely hard to trust yourself, or even to feel safe paying attention to your inner world.
When you don’t know what you feel, you can’t effectively act on it
There’s a huge amount of information out there on how to manage feelings. You can find endless content telling how you to sit with your emotions. Reel after reel showing you how to calm your nervous system.
But if you don’t know what’s going on inside in the first place, it’s impossible to know what to do about it. Nervous system exercises won’t help if you’re full of suppressed anger from how you’ve been treated. Anxiety management techniques won’t help if you’re actually overstimulated – in fact pushing through the “anxiety” is one sure way to make overstimulation worse!
Are you ready to enter your feelings era?

Recognising your feelings is a skill you can practice and build
The great news – evidence shows that a regular practice of checking in and attempting to identify feelings makes a tangible difference. This practice can improve both how clearly the signals come through, and how accurately we identify what they’re telling us.
Not all feelings are emotions…
…but, most tools out there to help identify feelings only include emotions. All those emotions wheels and lists out there are brilliant, but they don’t include the full landscape of inner feelings.
That’s where Feelings Unjumbled comes in! When I couldn’t find a feelings tool that included nervous system states and physical feelings alongside emotions I set out to create my own, and the feelings grid was born.
Different brains are different
What works for one person may not work for another. I won’t tell you to meditate in a certain way, establish a specific sleep regime or use any particular breathing technique (though I have access to lots of those I can recommend if I think they might help).
Instead, I encourage you to use the Self-Attunement Cycle to build a gentle practice of focusing your attention inwards. And to experiment with naming and acting on what you find there. That way, you build your own knowledge of how and when different feelings show up for you, and your own personal toolkit of what to do about them.
The Self-Attunement Cycle
Each practice builds a little more connection – even if you don’t identify anything in the moment

Try it now!
Attune: Bring all your attention to your shoulders and just notice what’s there
Articulate: What sensations can you describe? Do any words come up? Any feeling words or other descriptors?
Act: Do anything that feels supportive. Give your shoulders a roll, hug yourself, shift position…
Appraise: Take a moment to notice whether any sensations shifted
That’s it! What did you notice? Was any step harder than the others?
My story
Hi, I’m Ellen!
For decades I thought I was just an anxious person
I bullied myself through the anxiety to keep functioning. Then I shamed myself when that didn’t make me any less “anxious”. I would ask myself: “Why am I so pathetic? Everyone else can do it!”
When my daughter was tiny I finally realised that maybe something else was going on for me, and I embarked on a quest to figure out what. Over time I identified and processed a mountain of buried emotions.
That process was so life-changing for me, that I felt drawn to help other people on the same journey and I trained as a coach. But a lot of my “anxiety” was still there.
Midway through my coaching training I realised I was autistic
I was certified as a coach in April 2024 and received my autism diagnosis a month later. So much fell into place for me at that time, as I paid more attention to what was really going on for me through an autism lens.
I realised my “anxiety” was really an overloaded nervous system
I was often in a state of overstimulation… or hypervigilance… or social fatigue, and mistaking those sensations for anxiety. Over time I learned what helped me in each of those distinct experiences.
I’d been using emotion wheels and lists to help me identify what I was feeling. So I looked for a version that included nervous system experiences, but I couldn’t find one. That’s when I decided to create my own. An impulsive social media share asking for testers generated a lot of interest and Feelings Unjumbled was born.

Ready to go further?
If you’re new here, I recommend downloading my feelings grid and joining my mailing list for guidance on how to get started.
If you’re looking for more support, I run live Self-Attunement Circles in small groups. With daily prompts and other resources to help you figure out what’s going on inside. So that more people can access the materials, I’m in the process of developing a self-paced version which I’m very excited about!
I also have slots available to work with me one to one.
Download the feelings grid

FREE tool to help you recognise specific emotions, nervous system states and physical feelings
Self-Attunement Circle

Join the waiting list to be the first to know when new programmes drop. Including my new self-paced version
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Feeling all your feelings is hard, but that's what they're for.
Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even hard ones.
Download the feelings grid here.
Join my mailing list too and I'll show you how to use it.










