Here are some of the common questions I get from people who are starting to tune back into their feelings.
What if I’m feeling more than one thing?
You may find you’re feeling several things at once, or that a single feeling is overriding everything else – both are perfectly normal. Just notice what’s happening for you.
How often do we actually have feelings to feel?
We’re constantly feeling something – usually a mix of emotions, physical sensations and nervous system states.
What’s the difference between an emotion and a nervous system experience?
These categories are not rigid. Emotions are partly made up of physical sensations, and nervous system experiences are closely tied to our senses, so the distinctions can be blurry. In general:
Physical feelings
Definition:
Directly related to the 8 senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste, interoception (sensing system for internal signals), vestibular (sensing system for balance and knowing where your head is in relation to gravity) and proprioception (sensing system for knowing where your body is in space).
They give us valuable information about our physical needs.
Manage by:
- Moving your body
- Changing your immediate environment
- Attending to bodily functions
Emotions
Definition:
Made up of physical feelings, thoughts and behaviours. Both our personal history and the wider culture influence how we relate to our emotions.
They give us valuable information about our wants and values.
Manage by:
- Allowing yourself to fully feel them in your body
- Reflecting on the messages they’re sending you
- Responsibly communicating your needs and wishes
Nervous system experiences
Definition:
Relate to how the brain receives and processes information, including perception of threat or safety.
They give us valuable information about our needs and values.
Manage by:
- Changing your environment
- Using accommodations to support your nervous system
- Practicing self-regulating strategies
With thanks to Briony from Diversity Doodles for the gorgeous icons!
What if I can’t feel anything?
You may have interoception differences that make it harder for signals to get through. Or you may have simply got very skilled at holding your feelings outside of your conscious awareness.
If this is you, be kind to yourself and take it slowly. Practice often, but keep your practice small to start with. Pick one part of your body – maybe your shoulders or your hands – and simply pay attention to any tiny sensations you notice there.
What if I can’t name what I’m feeling?
You can use context clues as well as your feelings. For example, if you’re getting snappy, consider:
- How long has it been since you last ate? (maybe you’re hungry)
- Has anything happened recently that you’re not okay with? (maybe you’re angry)
- Have you been spending time in busy or noisy environments? (maybe you’re overstimulated)
What if I still can’t name what I’m feeling?
Use the feelings grid* to see if anything resonates, and just guess.
There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. It doesn’t matter whether you accurately identify what you’re feeling. The benefits come from practicing over time.
* You can complete my feelings quiz here to get a free copy of the feelings grid
No really, I can’t name any of these feelings!
No problem! If you can’t find any feeling words that resonate, make notes of any sensations you notice in your body. Anything goes – use language that makes sense to your brain (e.g. tense shoulders, weird feeling in tummy, “🎵 I’ve become so numb 🎵”, head full of pink, cold fingers,… or perhaps do a doodle or move your body). The most important thing is to consistently practice focusing your attention inwards.
I’m feeling stuff, but it doesn’t make sense?
You may find that a feeling word resonates with you, until your thoughts take over with a “you can’t possibly be feeling that”.
If that happens, just thank your thoughts for trying to keep you safe, and go ahead and write that feeling down anyway. You don’t have to make sense of it logically – just practice trusting your body.
Got any questions that weren’t answered here? Get in touch and let me know!
Want to tune into your feelings, but you’re not sure where to start?
Take my feelings quiz for an insight about what’s going on for you right now, and your next step in what to do about it.
You’ll receive a copy of my groundbreaking feelings grid that combines physical feelings, emotions and nervous system experiences all in one place.